Mr. Pakistani !

Aiye, aaj hum ap ki mulaqat karwa rahai hain Mr. Pakistani se !
Naam to in ka janai kia hoga , lekin ye ap ko jaga jaga aur har jaga har roz har sarak par har jaga nazar atai hain. Buhut hi bawaqaar, daftar main istri ki howi shirt pehnai tie lagaye bethtai hain to badesi sharaft ka mujassam namoona lagtai hain !. Namaazi parhaizgaar rozai daar, kisi mehfil main beth kar baat karna shroo karein to aisay aisay mazhabi zaawiye se baatein karein k sunnai walai ko mantai hi banai. Siyaasi maamlati hoon ye economic in k paas har maslay ka aik sab se behtar hal mojod hai k agar ye kahein apply ho jaye to mulk raaton raat G-8 main shamil ho sakta hai ! lekin kia karein k hamarai haan logon ko shaoor nahi warna sab jamatein peechai hat kar inko agay kar detein.
Khuda k karam se kamatai bhi acha khaasa hain , ghar bhar ko chalatai hain aur maheenai main itna bacha letai hain k aglai do teen maheenai na bhi kamayen to chalega. Aisay naik insaan ka waqt kitna qeemti hoga andaza to ho hi gaya hoga ap ko , to kia bura kartai hain agar Mr. Pakistani waqt bachaanai k liye kuch nazraanai idher udher paish kartai rehtai hain ? Gari main beth kar apni lane chor kar dosri lane main gari chalatai hain , to kia bura kartai hain. Bhaee samnai walai ko chaiye k inko dekh kar gari zara kachai main utaar kar rok lai , lekin hamarai jahil awam hain k samajhtai nahi, bacharai Mr.Pakistani ka rasta to rukta hai hi khud ye berabt awaam bhi kharai reh jatai hain.
Mr.Pakistani jaisay bawaqaar aadmi ko agar ap nai kisi ishaiyye ya zuhraanai main kahein botiyan uchaaltai howai dekh hi liya hai to konsi bari baat hai ? bhaee aisa kion sochnai lagtai hain aap k shayad in k ghar khana nahi banta ? achai khaasai khaatai peetai admi hain bus qorma taftaan ki khushboo songh kar in ki naak, dimagh , dil sab kuch 'pait' main badal jata hai ,balkai inka pora wajood aik chalta phirta 'pait' ban jataa hai ...to is main in ka kia qasoor , inhain to shayad khud hi khabar nahi hoti k kisi badqismat murgh-e-murda ki aik taang in k 5,000 rupay k coat ki jaib main atki howi hai aur biryani k kuch baqiyaat monchon par dharna diye beth gai hain, aik adhoori taftaan in k jotai k saath saath chali jati hai ...bechaarai qudrat ki karegari k agay majboor hain.
Mr.Pakistani ki deeni hamiyat ka to kia hi kehna, ap ko in k ghar main aik sakht tareen qanoon milega ghar ki har khatoon ko burqa baghair aik qadam bahar nikalnai ki ijaazat nahi. Kia hi baat hai Mr.Pakistani ki k kitna qareeb rakhtai hain apnai ghar ko 'sharee'at' se. Baqaida dars main shirkat kartai hai muattar saaf suthrai kapray pehn kar jab dars k liye nikaltai hain to aisa lagta hai jaisay abhi garha khodo aur utaar do mera khayal hai zuban phisal gai , jee to aisa lagta hai k aasman se koi farishta utar aya ho ! Aur to aur ghar ki khawateen ko college main dakhla lenai se rok diya k jo parhayee karwaenge ghar ki hudood main karwayenge warna ordinance factory main mazdoori par laga di jaengi.
Ab aap hi batayen is main Mr. Pakistani ka kia qusoor k koi university inko 'gharelo' degree denai par tayyar nahi horahi. Kam se kam bcom ki degree hi de detai mazhabi bunyadon par lekin Mr.Pakistani jo in khawateen ko taleem se araasta karna chahtai thai na kar paye , afsos sad afsos ! Mr. Pakistani khud qaum k kher khuwah hain, chahtai hain k har khatoon khuda ki adalat main kamyaab ho aur in k nazdeek ye kamyaabi sirf burqay se milti hai! chahtai hain k burqa itna aam hojaye jitna k star plus ! yehi waja hai k har 'bepurda' larki ya khatoo ko intehayee 'shafqat' se 'ghoortai' hain bus chalta hai to ghar tak chor k atai hain, ghalat na samjhein wo to is nazar se dekhtai hai k agar burqai main hoti to kitni bhali malom hoti ! In ki nazrein sirf apnai ghar ja kar hi jhukti hain kion k wahan to 'sharee'at' ka nafaaz pehlai hi kar chukai hain , ab agar ankhon ko churi chaqo bana kar ghar se bahar ka jaeza nahi lenge to pata kaisay kar paenge k 'sharee'at' k hudood kahan kahan naafiz honi chaiyen ? Magar kia karein becharai Mr. Pakistani akhir ghar main bus chalta hai in ka bus to wahan to bepardgi par jaan tak le lein, bahar bus na chalai to na sahi ankhein hi chala letay hain , akhir ko ye to bequsoor hi hain qusoor to us bekhabar larki ka howa na jo in k samnai se guzar rahi hai. Khuda ka hukm bhi to akhir sirf khawateen k 'parda' ka hai becharai Mr.Pakistani to waise hi azaad hain.Usai pata hona chaiye tha k yahan aik shaitan sifat oh maaf ki jiyega, k yahan aik farishta sifta insaan khara hai yahan se sirf burqa posh khawateen ko guzarna chaiye k Mr.Pakistani ki nazrein mehfooz rakhein. Yaqeen nahi ata to in k ghar ja kar dekh lein majal hai k ghar main koi khatoon kajol ko hi discuss kar lai.

Kis larki ko kia sikhaana chaiye , is k liye us k ghar ka ata pata telephone number raabtai ka koi tareeqa to hona zaroori hai na so wo pata karnai ki koshish main kabhi kabhi Mr.Pakistani nai naik niyyati se kisi khatoon ka peecha kar bhi liya to konsa toofaan agaya ? Aur kuch nahi to in k norani chehray ko dekh kar hi ap ko yaqeen hojaana chaiye k is zahiran khabees fail k peechai aik naik niyat aadmi hi to hai aur in ki to shayad darhi bhi hai lijiye aik aur nishaani !
Apnai aap main to Mr.Pakistani is had tak mazhabi hain k khuda k banaye gaye qanoon se barh kar is qanoon ka paband bana diya hai khandan bhar ki khawateen ko. Bataiye kia aj kisi khatoon main majal hai k gar ye nikkah ka faisla karwa dein to wo na hi kar sakai ! jaan par khel jatai hain Mr. Pakistani magar jahan apni mazhabi zuban de di waheen karwatein hain nikkah. Lakh ye khawateen 'inkar' k bahanai dhondein yani 'kufr' karein ! Ye Mr.Pakistani hi hain jo is kufr se bachatai aye hain bechari na samajh khawateen ko. Agar Mr.Pakistani na hotai , to dil hi dil main inkar kar k chup saadh lenai wali ye nasamajh nadaan khwateen to nikkah apni marzi se kartein , haye haye kitni ghair islami muashra hojata hamara! Mazeed kia kia khasoosiyat ginwaoon main inki.
Social engineering ka to art shayad shroo hi in se howa hai. Abhi pichlai haftai ki hi baat hai k apnai parosi se ijazat le aye k bhai ye beech ki deewar turwa kar main aik kamra banwaonga aur ap ki deewar phir se waise hi chunwadonga. Niyyat ki safayee dekhi ap nai k saaf keh aye zuban de aye , ab kia karein zara si bhool chook main paroosi ki deewar aik feet peechai ban gai to wo inko janai kia kia kehnai laga darhi rakh k jhoot boltai ho ! chatayee par sar ragar ragar kar maathai par mehraab daal to li aur parosi ka haq maar rahai ho !! Khuda ki panah itnai naik shaqs par ye ilzaamat kam se kam darhi aur mehraab ka hi khayal kia hota nahinjaar parosi nai. Magar salam hai Mr.Pakistani k paya istaqlal main bilkul laghzish nahi ai , himmat e mardaan - madad e bhai log !
Mr. Pakistani nai roz marrah k muaamlat par apni gehri nazar honai ka saboot detai howai sirf apnai jaisay naik logon ko ikhatta kya bus ! yun parosi bhi khamosh howa mazdoor ki mazdoori bhi rayegaan nahi gai aur Mr.Pakistani nai hadees ki laaj rakhtai howai mazdoor ka paseena khushk honai se pehlai khushi khushi uski mazdoori bhi ada kar daali.

Mera khayal hai Mr.Pakistani ki roudaad aaj itni hi kaafi hai, agar moqa mila to ainda bhi Mr.Pakistani k karnamai ap tak puhunchata rahonga. Khush rahiye aur khush rakhiye.
Salam Alaik!